A homeschooling plus

I'm sitting here this morning listening to Peanut Pie eat her frosted flakes; the only child currently in my house.  I almost don't know what to do with this stillness and silence in my household; it's so weird!  Miss A and daddy went flying this morning (he's got his private pilot's license), and I can't help but imagine what the sunrise must look like where Wiggly's waking up this morning.  He's in one of the most beautiful places in existence (or at least to our family)... Ontario, Canada.

He left this weekend with my parents to spend the week at our family cabin in the Ontario wilderness.  My husband is flying up to meet them later this week, but I figured Wiggly could spend the entire week up there since he loves the wilderness and fishing so much.  I bet he'd make a great ranger someday.  And what has made it possible for him to enjoy this experience during the second week of public school??? Why, it's the beauty of homeschooling, of course!

I was really struggling as school started around here last week.  I got choked up giving box tops to a mom of a former student because I specifically wanted Wiggly's public school class to reap the benefits.  (good thing I had my sun glasses on.) I tried to avoid taking Wiggly to the grocery store during the month of August lest he see all the back-to-school hype that he was no longer a part of.  And in all this crazy, sometimes irrational behavior (pregnancy hormones), I wasn't at all doubting that our decision to homeschool was the wrong choice for Wiggly, but I felt like he was going to miss out on so many of the experiences of going to public school.  Mostly the social aspects; recess, eating lunch with friends, the excitement of the first day, new school supplies, new teachers, school sponsored events like the Costume party for Halloween... I had officially and single-handedly eliminated him from those events he'd found so much fun in the past, and replaced it with what? Playing with/ picking on his sisters everyday and 4+ hours in our homeschool room upstairs with just his mom and sister? Great choice, Mom... A couple of times this week, Wiggly looked at the clock, asking what his friends at school were doing right then and if they were still in school at the same time he was.  And I tried to put a positive spin on it. "This morning at 6:30, all of your friends were getting on the bus, and do you know what you were doing? Sleeping in." And "At 11, when your friends were eating lunch and doing school work, we were playing at the park." (their reward for good behavior at my doctor appointment) "And ALL next week, when all of your friends are in school, where are you going to be???" He smiles now.  "Canada," he answers.  Point made. 

Canada.  Had I not been pregnant this summer, my husband and I would have made the trip together as a family, but it just wasn't in the cards this year.  Wiggly made his first trip to camp last year, and Wiggly LOVED it.  He caught a smallmouth bass all by himself off the dock one morning and was so proud that he had contributed to dinner that night. We picked blueberries, went exploring, swimming, and he learned how to play war.  (I suspect this week, he may learn how to play Eurchre.  With limited electricity and no modern conveniences, we play LOTS of cards in the evenings.) I did send some books with him so he could read everyday, and I made up a science lesson plan involving the ecosystem created by a beaver dam that my mom is going to work with him on, so he is getting some schooling in while away from home.  But he's learning so much more this week than what he would in a public school classroom. I mean, what would be better: watching a video in school about a beaver's habitat or actually getting out and exploring one? Point made.  It's for this that makes homeschooling so awesome.  Some days I just have to remind myself that he's not missing out on experiences by not being in public school; we're simply exchanging them for DIFFERENT experiences.  And just because it's different doesn't make it a bad thing. 

This beautiful picture was taken from http://killarneyoutfitters.com/.  Love that place.  I'll be sure to post pictures of Wiggly and his fish when he gets back :0)

Handing in the homeschool forms

Well, I officially handed in the homeschooling forms to the board of education office this morning.  For one reason or another, I'm having some mixed emotions about making this official.  Even though I shouldn't, I feel like we failed the system instead of the system failing us.  My train of thought is that we tried public school and it didn't work out, so there must be something wrong with us as a family or me as a parent.  As I'm typing this, I know my rational is ridiculous.  And I shall account my feelings as pregnancy hormonally driven, but I feel like a reject.  I must not have done something right.  Public school works for everyone else, so why didn't it work for us?  However, I don't feel like my son is a failure or a reject by ANY means; I really, truly feel like he's a typical boy despite his first grade teacher. And it is for this reason that I know my decision is the correct one. 

But at the same token, I feel a little guilty withdrawing him from school.  I know all the teachers in his school; some of them I had when I was in school or substitute taught with them.  The secretary I handed the papers this morning to was the elementary school secretary in my building when I was growing up. Heck, my aunt is currently the physical education teacher at Wiggly's school!  By homeschooling, I feel like I'm saying that the school is not good enough for my son.  It's not that the teachers aren't good at their jobs, or that it's not a good school district, but it's just not a good fit for Wiggly at this time. See? I keep needing to validate my decision.  But to whom? Apparently myself.  And I also keep wondering whether or not to email the principal explaining why we decided to pull him.  I know I'm going to see her again; our community is MUCH too small to hide in... So, do I owe her an explanation?  I feel like I do, but maybe I don't.

Aaahh, like all things parenting related, there just doesn't seem to be one clear, easy decision.  Is anyone really certain if they're doing right by their children?  We just do the best we can.  Has anyone else had these mixed feelings of self-doubt in your decision to homeschool?  I just wish all these feelings of doubt and guilt would go away.   

The Waiting Game

I haven't had much to blog about lately as I am waiting on two things to come around so we can begin this homeschooling adventure...

1.) Wiggly needs to be finished with public school! Only two and a half weeks left and I can hardly wait! Wiggly went to a birthday party this weekend and when talking to the mother, I mentioned that I was going to homeschool my older two next year.  She said, "You've just about made it through Mrs. O and now you're going to pull him out?" (She's had to deal with this particular teacher a couple times since she has foster children and a few older children of her own.) I know it might seem backwards that we stayed through a horrible teacher only to withdraw afterwards, but we still feel it's the right decision for our son. The field trips and the personalized lessons that are going to keep him engaged and that he's passionate about? I'm so excited!
Recently, our Lutheran church in town put together an enrichment program for the month of April where kids grades K-5 could choose two classes to take on saturday mornings.  There were over 30 different classes to choose from including cooking, photography, guitar lessons, watercolors, gym class, robotics, etc.  They had over 250 kids sign up, which was huge for our little community.  Wiggly got into the Crazy Science class and just LOVED it.  Since then, I've been busy looking up lots of science activities to do this school year.  I also looked up the STEM program, but they don't have anything available in our area, which is too bad because I really think Wiggly would enjoy such a program.  And then the other thing I'm waiting on is:

2.) Are we having a boy or a girl?  I'm currently pregnant with our fourth child, and this little one is holding up the whole homeschool classroom process! It's amazing that he/she holds so much power already! :0) Since we already have two girls and a boy, if it's a boy, then there's no problem and I can go on with removing the guest bed from our current classroom and start hanging stuff up. Classroom ready to go.  Super exciting! However, if it's a girl, Wiggly will be moving into the classroom as his littlest sister will be taking up his old room.  So where will the classroom go?  Good question.  I'm guessing it'll go something like this: Baby moves into Wiggly's room, Wiggly moves into classroom, classroom moves into playroom, toys move into bedrooms/basement/garage sale? And then since our playroom is actually a larger space than we really need for a classroom, can I partition it off so it can serve both purposes? These questions and my hormones keep me up at night... I'm not sure if seeing everyone else's cute classrooms is hurting or helping my sleepless nights; there are so many cute organizational ideas out there! Curse you, Pinterest!

Update: Broken Hearted over Public School

So I got Wiggly's report card and I thought I'd update you on what it said. If you'd like the back story connected with his post, here's the link to my first post... 

Anyways, I haven't really talked to his teacher since then; it could be just me, but I feel like our encounters (which are one or two days a week when I pick him up for piano lessons and during library time) since then have been awkward. I still don't quite know what to make of our last meeting; now that I can look back on it a little less emotionally connected, I feel like maybe she was just venting to me because I was there. Maybe she was feeling a little frustrated that day (and maybe about more than just my son). I don't know for sure why she said what she did when she did, but I do know that we're almost done with her... Yay!

So, Wiggly's report card. I opened it holding my breath; I wasn't sure what bad things might be in there. Frankly, I'm tired of negative remarks and comments about my son and his "wiggly" behavior, so I was bracing myself for the worst. Reading: B+. Math: B-. Language Arts: B. Science and Social Studies: S. Is this my son's report card? My son: who needs to be on medication to help him focus in class? My son, whose teacher discussed possibly holding him back in 1st grade another year? I'm confused. If he's doing so poorly in class, then why does he have all B's? Needless to say, I was so proud of him. It can't be easy for him to be with 26 other students all day long and stay engaged long enough to learn something. Good for you, man!

However, moving on to the "Personal Development" section of his grade card, he received an Unsatisfactory in the following categories: Listens Attentively, Follows Directions, Uses Time Wisely, and Study Skills. Am I surprised? No. Do I see this same behavior at home? Yes, sometimes I do. Do I think there's something wrong or abnormal about his behavior? No, I honestly don't. He is a little boy, not a lumpy sponge that just sits there and absorbs all the information you hurl at it. The only real thing I determined from his "Personal Development" grades is that he's probably a little immature. Do they prescribe medication for that? I don't think so...

Now, has his report card from public school changed how I feel about homeschooling him after this school year? No not really, and I thought that maybe seeing him be successful might change my mind. But it hasn't. I just think about how much he'll grow and learn if he has a teacher working one on one with him all day everyday, and how much more engaged he'll be in learning when he isn't limited by what can be done in a public school classroom. I'm excited for him!

A couple days ago, I got a taste about how much fun homeschooling's going to be. While Wiggly was walking up our long driveway, (we live in a woods off the road a little bit), he brought me a long piece of grass covered with slimy, round snotty-looking things. He was so excited, guessing what they might be. We put on our mud boots and trekked down to the water puddle where he found them. We talked about the habitat where he found them and what the slimy stuff might be. He guessed they were frog eggs of some sort. When we got back to the house, we looked up frog egg pictures and information about frog eggs. HE determined that yes, they are more than likely wood frog eggs based on the pictures, descriptions, and the habitat in which we found them. We're continuing to observe the eggs in their habitat, but seeing his excitement and the level of engagement in learning about these mysterious blobs made my day. THIS is the curious, nature-loving boy I know...

Broken hearted over public school

I'm putting it in a better perspective this evening, but I was so upset last night, I couldn't sleep. I ended up getting out of bed at 4am and folding laundry while catching up on New Girl and the Mindy Project. I'm done... I'm done with the public school system.

The thing about it is that I had SO much faith in the system. I was a product of it and even went to school to be a teacher. I taught in the system and thought I knew its ins and outs. When Wiggly started kindergarten, I was so excited for him; I knew he'd do just great!.. Until he didn't.

Yesterday afternoon, Wiggly's teacher cornered me in the library at school while I was waiting on the next class to come up. (I volunteer once every other week serving as librarian since the elementary school doesn't have one.) She said, "We need to talk." She proceeds to tell me that over the last few weeks, Wiggly has been really unfocused in his seat. Monday and Tuesdays are the worst and by Thursday and Friday he's a little better, but he's just not focusing in on what they're doing. She says he's also not getting started on his seat work when he's supposed to. He needs a couple reminders before he gets busy. He's been threatened with missing recess when his seat work isn't completed, but he gets it done... Correctly, I might add. (Side note: wouldn't you WANT to let a wiggly kid go outside for recess to burn off some steam? Why would you punish both of you by making him sit when it so obviously benefits him to be moving? That doesn't make much sense to me.) He's not rushing through his work. He understands the concepts. He simply isn't paying attention. She goes on to say that she doesn't think this is a maturity thing, (Wiggly is a little young for his class, March 30th he'll be 7.) and that I should consider going to see a doctor. Then the woman went on to tell me how many students have done SO much better once they're on "meds." I found out later, she can't legally say that she thinks he needs to be medicated, but that's what she was insinuating. I was heartbroken to hear her talk about my son in this manner. My son, who is fun-loving, spontaneous, and creative. The boy who loves creating scavenger hunts and rules to his own games. She wants me to medicate my son so he can better fit within the parameters of the public school system. I am not a confrontational person so I nodded my head, asked a few questions, and didn't really say too much else, but inside I was stunned. All the questions I should have been asking, like "What are you doing to help him stay focused?" "Are there other kids who aren't engaged in your lessons, or is it just my son?" or "How is he doing academically compared to his peers?" wouldn't come to me. I was stunned and sad. Very, very sad. I am still sad.

I am sad that she thinks that making my son a zombi is the answer to the problem. I am sad that there are other kids in schools just like my son who are already getting burned out with the education system in the first grade because they are getting harped on to "pay attention" and "focus". I am sad that they don't fit inside that bell curve that the public school system teaches to. And I am sad for the parents who think there is something wrong with their sons or daughters because they don't fit into this "norm". And I'm sad because there are parents out there who feel helpless.

If I could have pulled him out of school altogether yesterday, I would have. We have 2 1/2 months of this school year left and then he'll be free. He'll be free to pursue his passions and learn at his pace. He'll be free to enjoy learning and exploring without getting burnt out. If a student is getting burnt out on learning, then you the teacher aren't doing your job correctly. ADD. ADHD. Call it whatever you want. But what it comes down to is this: there is no room in the public school for my son to be successful in education. There are those that fit into the system and those that don't. And he does not.

In my sadness, my sister-in-law recommended I watch this piece on changing educational paradigms by Sir Ken Robinson. It made me feel better knowing that there are others out there who see the flaws in our educational system today. Hopefully the link works, but if not, the video is called RSA Animate- Changing Education Paradigms. After watching this, I went on to listen to one of Ken's TED talks podcasts where he elaborates on his ideas and views. I recommend it.

http://youtu.be/zDZFcDGpL4U